He had some BAD nuttage
Nuttage?
It's like cleavage......... but different
I just realized that i have never seen about 30 percent of my friends sober before
Mac n' cheese is coming out of my nose. You can't make that feel better
I researched the whole pregnancy breast feeding with piercings. I think you dont have to worry about the trifecta milk spraying thing.
I haven't found him passed out in the living room covered in noodles for a while now so I guess he's getting better with the drinking.
I can feel my moral fiber fraying.
So it finally happened last night... I re-met someone that i've already had sex with. Had no idea who he was. Fantastic
You're asking your pregnant booty call to go to a funeral with you?
I'm just chillin on the bathroom floor
Haha oh no
The bathroom floor is like my second bedroom on the weekends
I'm not sure I can continue to condone our having sex in all of your friends' beds
I tried to have a quickie with him at the company happy hour. I think I need to quit my job.
She said she was sober from drugs for a week. All I heard was Kenny Loggins singing Danger Zone.
you smell like vanilla and daddy issues
I twisted my ankle while drunkenly playing in my adult kickball league. Now I'm having to use my grandpa's cane to walk at this party. I am so single.
also, I think I lit my hair on fire when I got home..
Randomize
