i hope my daughter doesn't end up with cankles. no guy likes cankles.
hey what are you doing
hooking up with some marlborough girl. shes gorgeous!
i texted you because i like you, and i told my freinds you were my fiance. but sine we're not dating you're not cheating and i'm pathetic
bathroom sex at kohls isnt as trashy as it seems
and then she yelled "im going to fuck the next guy that walks by me". so ya thats how i lost my virginity
Yes someone did see you carrying a beer bong on the side of coastal highway
Joe decreed the livingroom and the hallway up to the burn mark his kingdom. I think this is the point of 'stage an intervention'
pretty sure that drunk girl we saw climbing the stairs is now DJing this club....
I am so proud of him. After eating the rest of our shrooms, he finally registered to vote
In the ER with Chelz, I may have broken her ankle during sex. Lovely.
Ok so I didn't mean for his first impression of me to be lying face down on his roommates bedrooms floor throwing up my jäger but it happened. Atleast my ass looked good in those jeans. Think I still have a shot?
I'm ready to get married, then we can lie around watching anime and eating pizza while he rubs baby oil on me
If sending nudes to tinder boy is considered functional then yes.
Somehow, you looked so classy chugging that bottle of wine last night.
All I remember is you shouting "THIS KID IS A FREAKIN' NINJA!!" when he dive rolled over a barbed wire fence and proceeded to ask for his 18th beer.
Sorry I missed your call earlier. I was getting high with my high school band teacher.
Randomize
