kill, fuck, marry: alice cullen, hermione granger, ginny weasley.
damn... fuck alice for sure, I feel bad but i think I have to say marry ginny... and kill hermoine! I can't believe I'm answering this right now.
When I came home you were watching infomercials, eating croutons out of the box and salsa from a funnel. Well done.
My STD test came back clean. I'd like to thank all the guys I've slept with, they made this possible. I want to say thanks to all my friends, for believing in me living up to the full slut potential. And last but not least, I'd like to thank alcohol. I wouldn't be who I am today w/out you. I feel like I need to frame this...
I can't, I'm busy. I've been walking around Tokyo on google maps for an hour.
I've thrown up so many times in the third floor bathroom of Baldwin that they should probably just go ahead and name it after me.
he just kept saying "come on iron man, you can do this!" to himself the whole time..
Kayla got stiches in her face. Rode in an ambulance shotgun. Tried to steal a baby, thought it was mine
How can he have such a manly penis and baby hands?!
No clues in my phone. Only dialed call: my own social security number. And that was before 10:00pm.
The dorm having an ice machine is their way of inviting us to make mixed drinks.
I like to feed my guinea pigs before I get stoned. In case they get contact high and get the munchies. It's only polite.
I want to get back to junior year skinny- without all the drugs.
Out of curiosity, do you feel happiness for you, or sadness for ME, that you are the only one I drunk text?
The impact your presence has on my vagina without even putting your hands on me is quite astonishing, impressive and a little disturbing.
Thanks for reminding me of all the hookups my brain has been trying to suppress...
That's what friends are foooooooor!
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