You went to church with your boobs hanging out?
Theyr'e a gift from god, I figured I should show him i'm using them well.
Still at the library. i hate tax accounting so much that i've started calling it potions...
Bring more bourbon. Day drunk just hit another level.
She's legit crying about wanting more sex. Holy shit.
She just rubbed her face all over pool chalk. I feel like it's time to go
Just had flashback to me showering u with stir fry as u rythed on the floor
Oh Brad. Your poor brain, always being ignored for your penis and crazy women.
Dude are you being arrested? I swear I just saw you laying on the hood of your car with a cop patting you down...
You've seen the quality of dick pics I normally get. The bar is high.
Mom just walked in with a bag of weed and funyuns. I'll talk to you later.
Yeah, I mean I'll probably fuck him regardless but I'm trying to be a lady about it.
Nothing ruins an orgasm faster than accidentally calling out his boss's name
Now I have the opportunity to have Chris Pratt or Channing Tatum?!? What a time to be alive.
Justin has passed out on the toilet in a locked stall. Stay tuned for pics.
I do not recommend playing football on LSD like at all
Randomize
