god. i hate danny gokey.
Hes like the kid in school that reminds the teacher they forgot to assign homeowrk.
he's mormon right? lame.
checking your phone to see who you drunk dialed last night isnt as funny when you see you had a 17 minute call to your dad.
this is the second time this week i got a blowjob from a crying girl.
We couldn't get our shit together to go to the bar, so we're getting drunk and facebook stalking all the girls who have gotten fat since high school. Any names you wanna throw out?
Just stole a goat. Bringing it to your house to cock block. Blame the goat not me.
I just got checked out by a paramedic whilst their sirens were on. I'm doing something right
I heard an explosion in the backyard. You told me you were playing "will it burn".
Ummm, my mojito just spilled on 2 essays as I'm grading. Who says high schoolers have all the fun?
its 2pm. u awake yet?
ill text u back later. still peeling fingernail polish off my face.
I like to oil my gears with cheap vodka and strangers
So I heard her yell at him and I went downstairs to find he had lit up each one of my smokes and taken just one drag off each and had em lined up on the table. She says he "experiments" when on Ambien.
You reached new levels of laziness. After we woke you up to take shots with us, you stayed in bed so you didn't have to move when you were drunk and sleepy
I had just gotten to his place and was about to get some dick. No way was I gonna let her negative attitude affect my orgasm feng shui
You stumbled into the hotel room escorted by security and then went into the bathroom sat by the toilet, threw up for hours while slamming your head on the wall and whimpering "why" over and over.. I went to bed
Didn't think I'd be dancing with the Power Rangers but here I am
Randomize
