Walk of Shame. In a state park.
I bet him anal if they won...the one time Detroit decides to win, it had to be this week
his profile picture is a blurry one of him holding a beer. i recognized him instantly.
I passed out on my porch last night. I'm still making it to class. This is what growing up means.
Its official. Iv'e been kicked out of a bar in every state. I would like to take my job and travel time for allowing this to happen.
Yeah that's one way to look at it on the other hand MY FUCKING BED CAUGHT ON FUCKING FIRE
Apparently I have a urinal in my bedroom
Why don't we skip the roadtrip entirely, save us the trip, and go straight to jail?
mallory made a planned parenthood decision maker flow chart again.
I told him that his face would look perfect between my legs. One of my most successful strategies yet.
Idk I've been drinking all day and they're having me blow shit up. Like dont let the drunk chick play with fire and explosives. Common sense 101. I will fuck something up
Blizzard, Hour 9: I'm 7 beers deep and have finished Ninja Turtles. I am listening to the NYPD and Nassau Fire Dept pipes and drums and writing new drum scores in my head, which I may or may not remember tomorrow
There's just something so liberating about drinking a beer with no pants on
If you sleep with him I will stab you int the uterus with a pitchfork.
Prepare the pitchfork.
We should write a country song: “Blacked Out on a Sunday”
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