just met our mailman at a party, he asked me out. i said yes, but only if he picks me up in the mail truck. how jealous are you
I am dressing up to go buy weed. I need to get out more.
Uhh, there's a legit bruise on my boob.. Again how does he manage this
After i black out, be a good friend and point me to the direction of a girl with daddy issues, any girl would do just fine
At one point last night I over heard you say " I'm gonna puke in a bag and pour it down your throat" I LOVE YOU.
So the old dude that tried to fight me is definitely Katie's dad. And the pot cookie's kicking in. Shit is getting weird.
Just got hit on by a middle-aged puerto-rican clown who told me that it would be bad to date someone who offers to buy me coffee and makes something of themselves. I love the NY subway.
think I signed up for a 5k last night while blackout.
Is "I am going to murder you if you keep sending me requests that I cannot fulfill" unprofesh?
i feel like when you brought up the possibility of you getting pregnant the sexting is over
Sending out old nude selfies with the message "#tbt"
i don't think i have enough personality to make it through this date sober.
We have hung out 5 times and only had sex 3 of those times. I'd call that friendship
I keep getting congratulated for drinking 2 six packs of mikes hard and winning the Olympic marathon and I don't remember this shit and now my throat is on fire
If he comes over I probably get to fuck him and if he doesn't I don't have to pay him the $60 I owe him for weed. It's a win-win situation.
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