it was almost as awkward as hearing my parents on friday nights in 2 in the morning starting, and than hearing at 2:01 my dad getting up and my mom going "i should have married a man"
I hate myself for saying your mom and I have the same friday nights.
don't worry... so do I
I can't belive they dont sell booze Sunday mornings. I mean some of us have to work
it was like the sexual equivalent of when Wilson fell off the raft and floated away
Just heard an advertisement for 40 proof chocolate milk. We may never have to grow up
Just put the gallon of milk in the microwave. Dad might know im high.
you cant just puke in an arbys and not order food. thatd be rude.
I have blocked the memory from my mind. He is just a fuzzy cloud floating with my other bad decisions..
She's the drunk girl with the air-horn and sunflower seeds.
have i crossed some slutty boundary when gay guys are sending me cock pics?
I'm eating your cookies as payment for having to listen to you. Happy sex
My mom just said she had more presents to wrap, so I should "smoke some weed & go back to bed"... She really is Santa Claus
He called me in the middle of the night to ask my shoe size. Apparently big feet would make me an unsatisfactory third for the threesome.
In hindsight, I probably should not have let the waiter give me a chiropractic adjustment on my neck last night.
On a scale from 1-10 how fucked up would it be to buy weed with my fafsa money?
It's a study aid
raging hangover at work with a lunchable dreaming of the sex ill never have. my life is perfect.
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