On blowjobs: "If you decide to go there, you finish the job. No complaining." I don't care if it sounds like she's talking about Iraq, I'm in love.
A good Q tip ear swabbing is better than bad sex.
i had to wake up at 4 am to do my laundry because I was afraid if I saw people in the laundry room they would judge me by the amount of clothes I had covered in vomit from syllabus week
had to go back to that apartment this morning to get my other boot. it was tacked to the wall
No. And Marissa said shitting in the handicap bathroom at work does not get you into the club. You have to shit yourself. She said.
You would be my first round pick for a drinking team
I paused mid sex to tell him I wished I'd taken up barrel racing so I could ride better.
I don't really want to have sex with him, I'd just want him in a threesome. Does that make sense?
I wasn't half as drunk as u but u were saying u were a "worm" and u tried to slither out of my grasp
If I just skip sleeping, does hangover still happen? Gonna try it. Will report back. StTAND BY
he went to the bathroom at 5am only to come back and squeeze my boob before going back to sleep
I saw an episode of cops that had one of my ex husbands on it.
Well I'm back. Could you fill me in on what I missed?
You don't want to know. Trust me.
During my first week as an adjunct prof, I played a fiercely fought game of squash with a law student and we wound up having hot, sweaty, angry sex right on the floor of the court. She is either the best or worst thing to happen to my academic career. Will let you know.
I don't even know if he's actually hot or just hot because he plays hockey..
You did not just say that.
Randomize
