Currently listening to 'Just Put it in Your Mouth.' remember when i went through that phase?
Boobs. All I remember is boobs.
her bf's celebrating 10 yrs of service at kfc...it's safe to say all the good men are taken
he said he wants to do me james and the giant peach style. im afraid of what that means. but moderately excited. wish me luck.
I'm hungover as fuck. My vagina hurts. I locked my keys in my car. It's about 93* outside. We're having sex in the pool when I get home
Haha yeah my head's fine..sorry about the dent in your fridge.
My unemployment came through so I'd like to thank the taxpayers of Utah in advance for my level of intoxication this weekend
I tried to stop that, but then I pulled the leaves out of my panties and went to sleep.
Sorry I didn't answer your call last night, I was peeing on the driveway.
I was a bouncer for about 90 seconds until the real bouncers figured out that I was doing their job
Enough talk of my burning loins. How is your day?
Lady at the airport across from me just pulled a cat out of her bag. can't deal with this right now..
Starting to realize that fucking everyone I come across isn't the most... "adult"... coping method.
we should paint friendship bongs
This is the most aggressive rendition of that Proclaimers song I ever heard.
Randomize
