I've had that scene from "Parenthood" where Rick Moranis' character is singing "Close To You" to his wife in classroom, stuck in my head all morning.
I guess my mind is just wondering whatever happened to Rick Mornais.
I think my hot accountant is wearing banana republic. I miss the days when that ='ed gay. Signals are so confusing now.
There is an asian family here, I heard the mom call her son onyong
took shots out of a medicine cup. i can get used to college.
I have no idea what i drank..i remember dancing and ass grabbing..u falling. Headbutts. Trying not to puke. And deja vu.
i leave for school in 3 days. if you want your annual goodbye blow job you should probably call me
You yelled "sharpie war!" then jammed it in her ear
Freshman ate returning to campus. Let Operation Slut Storm commence.
Check the mailbox while you're out!
I already looked this morning. You go check and see what you won on Ebay after your day drinking spree.
I have the most nasty and explicit wet dreams of my boss that I'm embarrassed to look him in the face. I'd be pregnant or promoted if he only knew
Who the fuck watches Jessica jones and thinks I need to call a past fling?
It's decided. Tomorrow I'm getting a Big Mac and a Dildo
The dentist walked in on me trying to bottle some laughing gas to take home with me. That high.
I don't remember anything beyond the drinking game but I woke up in my own pee this morning so I'm just gonna go out on a limb and say I overdid it.
We saw the mini basketball hoop and unicycle and just knew we had to create a new sport
Drunk minds think alike
Randomize
