Lost. The hour! Funtime!!!!
um. i met him on myspace...we text now, he lives down the street
If you did the rosary as much as you masturbated, you would be the pope
i'm pretty sure i lost all sex appeal when he caught me peeing in his bushes
I just puked while everyone was releasing balloons. Im to hungover for this memoial service. Rest in peace great gramps.
Are you pissed because you didn't get action, or the fact i got boned twice in public places tonight?
Like not in a "I wanna have sex with you way" more like a "I wanna cuddle your mustache way"
You're lucky you got out when you did, about an hour later the girl in the Franzia box started wrestling everyone.
Just wanted to say a big ole FUCK YOU for coming out to mom the day before I have to drive with her for 6 hours. Ass hat.
You have talents. You got me laid two weekends in a row in two different cities.
She gave me a boner for the first time in 9 years.
A stripper choked me last night. Then I choked her. Now we're going on a date this Saturday.
Our orgasm ration was 1:45. No. Fucking. Joke. I thought I was going to die.
were you aware we were supposed to be taking care of her hamster this weekend?
I didn’t eat all day. Got really drunk at a bruins game and puked in a random dunkies cup on the T
If that doesn’t scream I’m from New England, I don’t know what does
Randomize
