Eric said he heard us having sex the other night. He said i did a great job.
I GOT MY PERIOD!
damn. i had names picked out.
I felt like I was in a real life creepy Myspace message. "girl u cute" ... "girl u got a really nice smile"
think i got pink eye from a stripper in vegas. showgirls did not prepare me adequately for this. be kind, 2010.
I wish you would always start your sentences with "speaking of my clit..."
I looked at you and you stared at me dead in the eyes then sprayed febreze at your crotch and winked.
I don't appreciate the fact that you tagged me as a giant bucket Miracle Whip.
Im shrooming at the foot of a tree on top of a mountain. Feeling fly as fuckin socrates and bon iver.
He led me to his room and handed me the remote, he left to go take a shower and there is a group of guys across the hall just staring at me... Its like they know something i dont. Help me.
Um, would you be up for dick jousting? Stefanie is willing to pay 40 bucks.
I'm not drunk because I think my blood just is alcohol from last night so being drunk is sober. If that makes sense
Dude come to her party. Someone just took a body shot of rubbing alcohol
Yo I get this girl alone in my room last night but she bounces cus she thought the full house poster was "weird"
I woke up with "To whom it may concern" sharpied on my dick
I'm over being sad. I'm now onto thinking about all the ways in which he is a total fuckwaste
Randomize
