Will you Wikipedia Vin Diesel? Is he gay? It's important...
She was sleeping without a shirt so I thought I wouldI sneaked a peek at her nipples..than I realized they were just warts...on her back.
i just bought weed at the top of a mountain, best decision of our lives to go to school in colorado.
And then like 10 minutes later they were taking a bath together. HOW DOES HE DO IT.
Woke up next to my bed in a pile of skittles, sleeping on a pair of sweatpants. I can't believe the girl didn't stick around..
Tonight when I'm getting a bj from a stripper I'm gonna imagine it's you bobbing down there
Getting up is taking longer than anticipated. Alcoholic fish bowls have made getting out of bed a multitstep process.
Dude, for your own safety, do not bring that chick home. I'm pretty sure you're going to find a marsupial pouch smuggling a fresh batch of herpes under that hoodie. Bail bail bail bail bail.
Ummm didn't i have pubes when i went to bed last night?
I need a new pic for your contact id. Because your boobs popping up when I'm having dinner with my grandma or, ya know, when kids have my phone isn't so good.
Please, by all means, tell me what can't be helped by two stiff drinks & a blowjob?
Surveying the reception hall and I'm fearing the worst possible thing that could ever happen...this might be a dry wedding.
.,.,you might have to leave
Sneaking the vodka in was the easy part.. listening to medley of puking in the porta pottys was not
I told him the only reason I'd sleep with him is if we have a threesome because I'll need moral support
also somebody did cough syrup and i was really worried but i couldn’t express why properly so i was like MACKLEMORE SAYS NO
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