May have finally hit rock bottom...bouncer from the strip club informed me I wore the same shirt last night
you would have Pina Colada flavored saliva.
i felt horrible..i wanted to somehow give him his vcard back
that's a non refundable transaction sweetheart
we usually just have an Easter beer hunt and never end up at church anyways
If I go there, please come with. It will accelerate the lesbian rumor but be totally worth it.
She was trying to fuck the exchange student from France. His English is really bad and the music was loud so she just pointed to a beer bottle and then her vagina.
i just snorted adderall with my patient's rolled up EKG strip from our last clinical. nursing school has ruined me. thought you would appreciate this.
i looked at my phone & had a message that said "tell your friend she needs to clean my livingroom, i dont appreciate her trying to turn it into a bubblebath." I give you probs.
Let us do this. Tomorrow night is thirsty Thursday. Let us drink whiskey from the bottle and have men in plastic gloves inscribe permanent images of each others faces onto our buttocks.
That shot was terrible
You were like one of those guys at carnivals that spit out fire..... Except it was throw up
I discovered a new stretch mark. DONE. LITERALLY DONE.
We are not having sex in the fucking kindergarten
He and I didn't so much date, as watch cartoons and go down on each other.
Idk. The bad part of me thinks it's a good idea. The bad part is also the stupid part.
I just learned that I could drop out of school and spend the rest of my savings on a giraffe are you free this weekend
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