why is it impossible to run with a back pack without looking like a giant d-bag?
haha... you gave me a great visual of you in high white socks running with a backpack with eye of the tiger playing in the background
that only happened once.
I cant believe that bitch gave me herpes. she said those bumps were just a part of the natural landscape
wait, did she really refer to her vagina as a landscape?
why are you more concerned about her word choice than the fact that I HAVE FUCKING HERPES
The crowing achievement of my life is still the time I made a 3 course meal out of things I found in the dumpster.
She wants out first dance to be to 98 degrees i do cherish you...remember how i said we didn't need open bar....
I want to start this convo out by apologizing for the broken toaster.
I'm going to call you, don't answer. Need to practice moaning to your answering machine again
It's total crap. On a side note I watched a porn of 4 guys wrestling in chocolate then messing around with each other. It was like a dream come true
I'm allowing myself one mistake a year. He gets to be 2012.
Someone touched my vagina when we were out last night. The fact that it was you is inconsequential and I am still counting it as a pull.
My heart stopped for a sec, but I snorted what I believe was cocaine off the floor, and I'm back in the fight
I just realized why I have little cuts all over my fingers. There was a broken pint glass in my purse last night.
It's a mix of hot dirty sex and week old bong water
You know it's time to call it a night when every guy in the bar (all 3 of them) have seen you naked at one time or another.
I wasn't supposed to sleep w him. So of course I sent him gps location to my bed.
Painted a stripper an elf costume. Her coworkers liked it. Now in a room full of naked strippers.
Randomize
