halloween makes it hard to decipher real cops... from sexy men dressed up as them.
he then proceeded to tear down my curtains, wrap them around his waist, and use the rod as his "rod"... you tell me how drunk he is...
i dont even feel safe using a push mower...that hungover
They live so far away from me that not fucking them both would have been financially irresponsible
bottle of wine in one hand cigar in the other. 5 am. topless on our fire escape. and she cleaned our bathroom... i like his new girlfriend.
We had an indepth conversation about his employment at Arbys..
FACT: the parking lot attendant was yelling "NO SEX HERE! NO SEX" at yall.
She had one drink in her cleavage and another in her hand. She kept rotating between the two by leaning backward and then sipping the one in her hand.
$5 off purchases of eighths or more today only. Happy tax-free weekend. -Your consumer-minded pot dealer
Lemme guess, I was the one completely shit faced making out with the 50 year old...
LOL, wrong number bro. Good luck trying to figure out what happened though..
I feel like someone poured gasoline and bleach in my nose and lit it on fire.
Why! I don't feel that at all!!!! I feel jipped
I'm not sure what your ex was trying to say to me I was too busy chanting your name in his face
My liver appreciates your vow of avoiding matrimony
Also I just took the BEST ass selfie of my adult life.... it's gonna be a good day haha
We bird danced in front of the bird cages for 20 minutes. I think it was our way of being like fuck you guys you're in a cage and we're on summer break.
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