I think we were cool up until the point where he saw that planned parenthood was on my speed dial.
i'm going through the NYU 2014 group looking for future drunken hookups. too slutty?
my life is one jail cell away from being a bad country music song.
I really hope our interview with channel 6 last night doesn't air or else my parents are gona get a first hand look at my alcohol problem
I just had a boat ride of shame. With Senior Citizens.
Some guy just stopped me in the bar and asked if I had a shot named after me at another bar called God damn my VaJana hurts? He already knew my name was Jana so I couldn't deny it!
You are too young to settle down enjoy your life. The window to get drunk and have casual sex with strangers gets smaller by the day.
Remember that time we became friends because I shotgunned a Tall Boy in your bathroom?
Those memories are both hazy and awesome.
she made sit in a corner, drink nothing but water and told me she was worried about me because i picked up an irish guy at a taxi rank. says the girl who invented tequila night and fucked a guy in a park across the street from a sweet sixteenth.
Thoughts of banging the girl who just opened my beer with her teeth?
all law school has taught me so far is how to fart quietly during lectures and how to out-argue the ice cream guy when he screws me out of extra toppings.
I just threw up every bad decision and it hurts
Slowly realizing that my only incentive to bathe is shower beer
Just sent my mother the text "we need to get our vaginas looked at this thursday". Hows your day going?
Her car is covered in frozen vomit, and she lost her iPhone. I'm also pretty sure I smoked crack last night. Rest in peace 2014.
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