I pooped in a mop bucket.
WTF???
Their employee restroom was locked what kind of customer service is that
Yeah we had sex for the first time last night and all the text he sent me afterwards said was “heh”
I hate fucking guys that don't drink coffee. My morning hangover and shame will not be cured by your stupid tea.
So we tried to 69 with him on top. NEVER TRY IT. His balls were in my eyes and it was terrifying.
take it from a girl who woke up with a girl in her bed... you were not that drunk.
The slutty girl scout law, revised for halloween 10: on my honor i will try, to serve my vagina and my shot glass. To hold back friends hair at all voming moments and to live by the sluttly girl scout law.
vaguely remember the bartender stopping me outside last night so he could pull the duct tape out of my hair
I went online and donated $30 to his walk-a-thon as a "sorry I puked in your bed last night"
No, we got so into acting out our role play characters we didn't even fuck. still sucess.
Just got back from the tanning beds. I'm a lobster. I fear for the safety of my nipples falling off.
Nope, had to pee on the side got violated by tall grass. Then someone came around the corner and I had to stop mid pee to dive into the car.. Pants down
I just gave him road head. He came in the Taco Bell drive thru which seems pretty typical for my life.
Sleeping with him wouldn't be considered hoeing out... It seems more like babysitting.
I just woke up to my family in the living room watching our security camera tape of me last night talking to a stop sign in our backyard... How the fuck did I get that in the yard?
Come to my place after work and we can discuss our finances over a coors delight and a fire ball shot
Randomize
