And, I saw Emily's panties. How? She doesn't sit like a lady.
Whats the opposite of morning wood? Whatever its called, everyone saw it when it fell out.
at a bonfire and someone threw a plastic cup in the fire. everyone immediately stopped what they were doing to yell collectively at him about what he was doing to the environment, then went back to drinking
only in oregon
Tequila is the liquid version of celery. I lose more calories during tequila drunk and the following sexual activities than I gain by drinking it...
apparently he thought telling me 'the weasel wants to come out to play' would somehow convince me to go down on him
i know and i thought i was only capable of loving dick and drugs, im so happy
im about 40 per cent sure i invited the bouncer to our pajama party next weekend...
I spent 10 minutes contemplating condensation on grapes this morning.
That shot was terrible
You were like one of those guys at carnivals that spit out fire..... Except it was throw up
How long is enough time to schedule homosexual exploration... Like an hour?
I got frustrated so I just stood up and said take me to bed or lose me forever and banged the first guy who responded show me the way home. Thank you Top Gun.
After you puked in the bathtub you claimed you were never eating quesadillas again and you never even ate a quesadilla
If so I'm coming over there. There's no way I'm having "hello, how are you" conversations with my neighbors on acid
just realized we fucked to the ultimate disney playlist last night. hakuna matata.
It's OK, I woke up in a drag queen's bed last weekend. It took me forever to get the glitter out of my cleavage.
Randomize