That's intense
she claims you yelled BOMBS AWAY when you came. tell me she's lying
but she didn't tell you i squeezed, built up pressure, and napalmed her face as i yelled it, did she
We fucked twice, I went to the bathroom to freshen up, and came back to him playing "Your Body is A Wonderland" on his guitar naked in my bed.
Girl in front of me has spent the class alternating between playing farmville and the tiffany's website looking at engagement rings. Every once in a while she holds her hand up to the screen.
She doesn't deserve the breathe the same air that we do.
She just bought a cow and we've moved on to looking at wedding dresses.
I am wasted and people are fist pumping. This should not happen on the west coast.
I still havent given him the valentines day card i got him. I feel like just writting...."sorry for the horrible blow job i gave u last night." and just giving it to him.
she said 'i love fried rice', threw a condom at me and passed out naked.
On my way home I stopped at target and bought beer and galoshes. I am a planner.
the bar told me i would have to take an hour break so they could wash the shot glasses
Always wear a seatbelt when giving road head. I think I'm just going to tell people I don't remember how I got the fat lip.
You just wrote a check for drugs...pretty sure you don't have cash for beer..
Yeah I'm at work. Nothing like the threat of blowing chunks on passing cars to make you feel alive.
This love triangle bullshit is getting out of hand. It's now a love polygon and I want out
you know you’re single when you try to cook yourself a nice pasta dinner but you’re too weak to open the container of sauce and theres no one around to help you
Be there in 6 mins I’m smell like fireball. and strippers and need to use your showers before go home
Randomize
