I am not having having sex with guys at the moment.
I can pretend to be a girl if you want. I have a tongue.
Wow, t9 really hates the phrase "slap her in her sanctimonious pie-hole."
on the way home the dog started throwing up her bone in the car..so naturally i started to puke too
this is going to sound stupid but when I was drunk and thought I was a stripper where I did toss my pants?
the brownie started to kick in before i finished the essay... it became a race against my own increasing intoxication
Its weird to pet your cat with a boner
What the fuck?
The guys had to come into the bar bathroom and pep talk us all off the floor
Since your rent is paid til the first, we decided to use your apartment as the beer pong room. We apologize in advance for losing your security deposit.
he needs to stop knowing everyone on campus...it's making cheating on him really difficult.
Got my bloodwork back and my liver is in tip top shape. Apparently blacking out 5 nights a week isn't cutting it, so we've got to step it up until I see that all of my hard work is actually paying off and doing some damage.
I dapped up a cop while leaving the party
I feel like I owe her child an apology or something after blowing my load on the tattoo she has of her.
On the flip side Weston asked if he could move me to Wisconsin to be his "moto hoe" which is actually a thing apparently
7% of guys ive been with can get me off... I did the math!
friends who go to the bar together leave the bar together and im not leaving you behind ohana means family
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