I just hope my dad was drunk enough to not remember the whole convo we had about anal.
when my dick couldnt get hard she said "fly on little wing"
You're always adorable, but when you're drunk, you're like Chia Pet adorable.
Would you wanna look up as you cum and for a split-second see your dad?
She kept saying how cute and adorable I was. I felt like a care bear getting a blowjob
Everyone was hooking up and I was just by myself rolling around in the grass at one point ... Which I am allergic to.
Worst case scenario, I put a giant cork in your vagina so you don't give birth before my birthday
Whiskey dick has taught us to be smart with our time.
Also, yes, I look pretty rough. But my ovaries fought back this morning so getting dressed decently was not a priority.
Somehow she talked me into getting my dick pierced, weird first date.
How long have I been using my debit card as a coaster?
holy shit the woman im hooking up with is closer to my moms age than my own
I hope none of us try to run for public office one day
8 minutes into the New Year and and I've already sent a nude...new year, new me?
He is in my tree wearing full on scuba gear ... Get here asap.
Randomize
