I'm having a terrible night. Can I sleep over?
Too tired to pretend that I care : (
So apparently I told him I was off to go "whore skipping" and I disappeared into the night skipping down the street. I know this because there's video.
do you know your status is "goal for vegas: hook up with a girl AND a boy"?
and THATS why i'm not adding my mom on facebook
you did pass out in the elevator last night, so it could be motion sickness
The biggest loser is alot easier to jack off to at the end of the season
he aimed his bare ass at the sparkler, farted, and it really did work...i love 4th of july anal fire works
he then proceeded to tear down my curtains, wrap them around his waist, and use the rod as his "rod"... you tell me how drunk he is...
1. They have gold fish races every wednesday. 2. They have a redbull vodka slushie. We need to visit this place.
1. My fish will beat your fish. 2. Were getting fucked up
Let's just say trying to drink my weight in apple pie shots looked better in theory.
Hey, you gotta think, is this REALLY the penis you wanna see for the rest of your life? THINK!
Why is there broken glass in my purse?
You stole a snow globe. From your VP. Soooo...maybe don't put all your hopes on that promotion you were expecting
"This is Emily. She likes potatoes. And sometimes laughs and cries at the same time, and has a wonderful butt"
just curious, were the inflatable penis' received? Amazon says they were delivered.
IT'S FUCKING BABY SEASON ON FACEBOOK. MY VAGINA WANTS TO THROW UP
according to the calendar even that i put in my phone last night, i'm supposed to fuck shit up at 11am today... i really hope i didn't miss something important
Randomize
