I will come over but only if I don't have to take my sunglasses off for it
Duck Duck Cougar?
Would we rather be in rehab with the drug addicts or the girls with low self esteem?
Yo dude either Brian has herpes or he was jerking off to Web MD 'cause I just walked in on him
I don't think blacking out in class is a good idea. But I'm game
we found her in my closet eating a clove of garlic.
Did you shave a certain someone in his sleep last night?
Beautiful wedding. Beautiful bride. I got shitfaced. Came home and ate two corndogs. I'm still single.
If you hear a sad honk in the wind it is me.
If your find a 12 pack on your doorstep consider it a gentleman's agreement to never speak of that night again
I'm so sexually frustrated I feel like I'm going to kill my turtle
I would rather suck a dick or two than go there
I think I might start referring to your vagina as a separate being now
If my dildo had feelings, they. Would've deffinately been hurt. He put that toy to shame..
At least your wife cheated on you. Women will feel bad for you. In a month there will boy bands that are jealous of your dick
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