i always forget guys have bellybuttons
Yea i'm supposed to have jury duty on monday. Hope they don't mind me still being drunk.
Na you can't get charged for public intoxication unless you're outside. I checked.
you kept running around the room with a flask shouting "so much room for activities!" then someone tripped you and you passed out
I told him he didn't want "flip-flop extraction" on his medical history.
Theres a picture of you standing next to a John Wayne cardboard cutout that says dont drink and drive. your buddy is shirtless holding a beer and youre holding your keys up with marker on your face.
I feel like I wont be making enough money to support my frivilous lifestyle of beer and mcdonalds
No. If you are gonna end this, you are gonna do it right. Not by getting bombed and falling on a strange penis. That was the old you.
When we were finished I asked him how long it had been since he'd cum that hard. He thought really hard for a while before telling me his brain forgot how years worked.
Ever since the Christmas fiasco of '08, I can no longer watch Rudolf the Red nosed reindeer without getting a hard on
Come over. Bring cocaine. And my t shirt with the dolphin on it.
At the end of the night i was really thirsty and tied to a bedpost
I went to Christian school in the 90s. I can finger blast anything, but dignity.
I just stood beside an Amish man and bought Cocoa Krispies and tampons.
I wanna get to the point where I can just send a question mark and get an exclamation point in response
one week and then i'm back on the sexual grind. a party is being planned in my vagina's honor
Randomize
