Just cropdusted the office
she said "i got this" and then fell on her face. within grabbing distance of the wall and her boyfriend
If I had a penis, I would stick it EVERYWHERE. I don't know what these guys are doing.
Just once I'd like to throw a party where I don't have to clean up someone else's blood the next morning.
We never did figure out who the stuff on the wall came from, did we?
Totally passed out on the dealers bed after paying him all in ones so no, i dont think i'll be getting a discount soon.
I BIT YOU IN THE DINING ROOM. I bit you and you crunched
Wait is it okay if I still want to fuck the whole USA swim team or is that only acceptable during the Olympics?
Now I can say "look me up on Pornhub."
He is stood at the top of the stairs nursing the stolen cat
I mean, I introduced myself as "the after party". I think he knew early in the night he was in for a bangathon.
I literally farted midsex as a siren for him to get the fuck off me.. No such luck.
I deserve to have sex with a hot freshman ok
My one night stand asked me out to dinner. When he came to pick me up I got in the back seat. I thought he sent an uber. Awkward.
Omg I got up from his bed and almost did a header into the wall because I came so many times I forgot how to walk.
Sitting naked, eating lucky charms with rain boots on
Randomize
