Ninja stars and alcohol are a bad combo
I like how she turned her beer into a wet t-shirt contest
Bar closing I am hiding in the bathroom. do you think anyone will find me?
He had to pee in the sink beside my head because the girl that I was taking care of was passed out on the toilet. To answer your question: yes i took a peek. Thats why we hooked up later.
You're a college freshman. Its your job to be pathetic. And drunk. But mostly pathetic
Bro I can't jerk it to my phone anymore. I feel Siri staring back, and she's real disappointed.
Scratch one off the douchebag bucket list. Just saw a guy in a sesame street tshirt and a tap out hat. Didn't get the memo that big bird's trying to get into mma.
This is why I need to move out...so my naked vomit covered walk of shames to the bathroom are only witnessed by one other person who is equally as pathetic as me and the cat
You told me that you were as fast as lightning and you wanted to race me. Then you faceplanted after falling down the stairs.
You only have to pretend to care about soccer until July. HE'S PRETTY DONT RUIN THIS.
I'm going to a one year olds birthday party to smoke weed. What has my life become.
The Wolf of Wall Street “I ain’t fuckin’ leaving!” speech when the cops broke up your party though...
You’re like one of those doomsday preppers, but for your vagina
My new superpower is making fuckboys disappear!
Bending dicks and egos since 2002
Shhh embrace your inner whore. Just embrace it.
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