I'd suck a dick for hot wings now. A metaphoric dick that is
I've been sucking dick for sushi for weeks now...hasn't worked yet :P
batman just walked across the sidewalk
lay off the drugs
no for real he was wearing a cape
I hope mine doesn't look like that
Somedays I wish I were a bird. Then people wouldn't be so grossed out when I vomit
What can i say im a girl who smells like weiners.
its great to know that you distinguish your relationships on whether you can cum on someone's face
Need. Hospital. Physically am floating.
I went in the closet and cried, then the bathroom and cried, and lastly he showed me his penis and I cried. It was a weird night.
Why can't people give useful wedding gifts...like sex swings or Nutella?
I feel like he's mythological. Like you just had lunch with the Loch Ness Monster of hotness
The dick pic bandit just sent me a poem about showering..
My boss want to throw me an everclear birthday.
I've never seen so much of my blood outside me. After the initial shock it was kind of cool.
I was cock-blocked by a swat team last night.
It true. It written in the Bible.
Yes I remember that, right next to the passage where jesus said unto his disciples, pop molly, fuck bitches amen
Randomize
