wtf he couldnt undo my bra, i asked him if it was his first time and he said "with a girl? yeah"
I also would have accepted most things ending in "job", erotic favors, and food.
There will be two dogs there to provide supervision. Not to worry.
Apparently Bin Ladens last act of terrorism is cock blocking me....
Ugh. This is the type of hangover that all other hangovers want to grow up to be.
I'll never be able to have sex on these sheets. I'd have to cover up the eyes of every single Elmo.
I'm pretty sure we scarred one of our coworkers. This is the second time he has caught us both fully undressed and banging at work.
Either he has bad timing or he wants to join.
that's right. bitches got laser pointers. let's fuck shit up
Just recreated a sandwich from the caf in my own kitchen. Graduation denial at it's finest.
My sister texted me to say she just found a corn on the cob in her purse from last night. You need to party with us more.
The last thing I remember is him yelling from across the room "WE FINISHED THE HANDLE!"
It was 11pm.
Before I go in, is 'I just got a root canal 2 hours ago' a good excuse to show up drunk to yoga class with a 6 pack? Because if not I think I need to go home.
At first it will make you think "how is this physically possible?" and then it will ruin an entire food group for you.
So I realize somewhere between mildly irritated and outright belligerently pissed is where you are, but as to location, where are you?
just because he was passed out beside the toilet, didn't give you tge right to pee on him
my aim is off when im drunk
Randomize
