last nights makeup is better than no makeup at all.
i've lived in the woods for so long, as long as its post-op, i don't care.
My therapist says she wants to work on my 'trust issues'. I think she's found the cash cow within.
I just five second ruled a donut I dropped at starbucks, everyones staring
ENDLESS SCROLLING ON TUMBLR WAS MADE FOR HIGH PEOPLE!
When I came home you were using a glowstick to eat peanut butter from the jar.
It was a sobriety test blowjob. If he could get it up, he could get me home.
i think he just broke into a bike shop his last text said something about hiding in some tree
He probably has his cowboy hat on, that's his house hat.
He fucked me so hard I might have to go to the hospital for internal bleeding
Can I have him when you're done?
He lasted about 30 seconds then said you can't win them all. But then he made me pancakes so it's okay. We shall call him mancakes.
A 'Bear Fight' is a car bomb followed by a Jaeger bomb. Fuckface and I do those on slow days. Tonight, we did a 'Polar Bear on Fire'. Fireball, a bear fight in the middle, and end with rumple minze.
I made friends at the beach bars tonight. Several were worried for my well being.
all i remember is slapping you in the face with a slice of pizza while laughing maniacally.
It's so weird fucking this kids aunt then going to the gym with him everyday, but my sick minded self loves it.
It's official. My little brother has had more sex in my car than I have. I'm still tied with my little sister. I hate everybody.
Randomize
