I told him that he is like a snow storm I never know when he is coming, how many inches I will get, or how long it will last
Just saw a man being put through a dui test on the side of the road... it was noon and he was on a bicycle. God bless texas.
May or may not have just drunkenly opened my christmas presents. Greatly disappointed. Might break up sooner.
drunk doesn't even begin to explain it. dude called him and said to bring you back because he'd already called dibs.
you only had a canadian ten, but you said it was all good cuz you would just by molson.
its a saturday night. im home alone watching legally blonde, eating week old birthday cake and drinking milk out of the carton. so yeah im doing real well
who loves string cheese????? I LOVE STRING CHEESE!!!
you know...if you didn't give such great head little things like this would ruin our friends with benefits relationship.
I found the perfect eye liner, it passed the blow job test, no smudging!!
You made out with a guy who refers to his cock as "rafiki." Are you proud of yourself?
...Saturday night. Get your dick ready. We are going to go nuts. I want to have sex fucking everywhere.
We're fucking and Lee Greenwood God Bless the USA comes on and he came. It was the most Roll Tide America moment of my life.
Would you still love me if my nipple fell off?
What is your friends name that I hooked up with? ....I think j found his credit card under my bed
How'd things go with that guy last night?
He threw up in the consol in my car then started crying about his ex girlfriend.
I'm classy like audry Hepburn. Chugging wine out of the bottle on the way to the club. Shed do that. I know she would.
Randomize
