I need to shower the guilt off of my thighs.
Laziness has reached now heights if you too unmotivated to buy pot
He put used condom on the handle of the plunger in the bathroom.
Just checked my phone. Sometime last night I googled sex positions in a tent. Was there even a tent there?
Bc when the owner of your local gay bar and a drag king ask you to take them to a rival gay bar 2hrs away at 4 in the morning YOU GO.
I literally put my pussy on his sideburns, it was awkward
There's a lil minaj in everyone
No. I'm laying on the floor naked. I almost made it to the shower
This could be the definition of living by yourself
feelin groggy baby? need a coffee? vitamins? a nice good fuck on the piano?
DISHONOR ON YOU. DISHONOR ON YO FAMILY. DISHONOR ON YO COW
This is a whole new generation of premature ejaculators
My boobs looked so good under the black light I saw a girl physically cover her boyfriend's eyes.
i mean hes a break dancing puerto rican, how do you think the sex was?
The whole time you were apparently enduring your pukescapades, I was singing very loudly in the car to Beyonce on my way to get a post-coitus Diet Coke.
i'd like to schedule a penis for 4pm please.
Going on a coke binge the night before your appointment with your therapist (to talk about your sex addiction) is prob not the best idea.
Randomize
