the the hell do you 'accidentaily" jizz on a shirt thats folded in a drawer?
Just donated money to a kid for her softball team.
Obviously I'm trying to futher our next generation of lesbians. I may be hitting on her at the gay bar in ten years...
all we did was drink wine and talk about how people who dont have facebook dont exist.
hammered. By myself. Accident. Faillll. Snowwwwwy
I'm drinking margaritas out of a soup mug, of course I'm going to get wasted
Your clothes are in washers 2,3 and 4. I arranged by darks, whites, then frat... I'm not even joking
does it still count as break up sex if it's 4 months later? sorry i'm just looking for an excuse to fuck him.
I got to the party and found your shoes in a bag of Funyuns. You weren't even there.
I should have bailed a long time ago. I mean, he has a bible verse-a-day app next to his dick pics in his phone.
I really thought I'd be the only alcoholic drinking alone in my car at noon in the Lowe's parking lot. Passed out dude in the car next to me begs to differ.
Why do you hate her?
She's dating the best penis that has ever entered my vagina.....
Somehow she talked me into getting my dick pierced, weird first date.
I either forgot underwear this morning or lost them at work and I seriously don't know which.
It's been a week I should not still be finding glitter in my pants.
The police officer that arrested me Friday night just bought me a shot
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