i just woke up in a strange room and the first thing i saw was a chewbacca mask... wtf
I just had unprotected sex with a stranger. but i did him wearing nothing but my pearls. so its classy.
I don't wanna do a drive in or see a movie tonight. I wanna play some Golden Tee and butt fuck a girl in the bathroom of some bar and proceed with Golden Tee
how are pickles made is in the google history again... why do you always wonder that, and forget the answer?
We turned everything surrounding BP and the oil leak into a "that's what she said" drinking game. We've been drunk for a month
He had a beer bottle in each of his back pockets and was on rollerblades. All I remember is following him for about 10 minutes
I had some like war flashbacks of giving someone a handjob and i was trying to figure out who it was.
the head trauma was worth the blowjob.
You know it's time to cut back when your unemployed drug dealer roommate tells you that you party too hard.
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
But in defense of this shit summer we've had, I totally perfected my shotgunning skills. I have achieved my summer goal.
I almost got an A in organic chem but started hallucinating during the final so I got a C
She said I'm going to get you stoned and have you fuck me on the couch.
I'm seeing how far I can grow my leg hair out before Jason will say anything. I'm up to an inch
She's the other freshman on this drunken voyage
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