I'm afraid we're only dating because we're too lazy to look for anyone else.
Well, think of it this way, if this were 200 years ago your father would have received the most goats in all the village for your fertile loins. Think about that.
I just called my mom 'Napoleon bronaparte'. I need to stop hanging out with you.
I have to cancel. My sons dad is out of jail unexpectedly and i'm kinda an emotional wreck. P.s. This is not the life I dreamed of as a little girl.
I just saw an appointment in my phone called "it's been a month" I think I drunkly did that after I slept with Paul to remind myself to check if I got knocked up... I'm smarter drunk than sober.
Currently shopping online for cardboard cutouts of various horror characters. That should teach me roommates to stop taking acid on Tuesdays.
I didnt say frisky time, just alone time, to chat, or watch a show, or stare into one anothers eyes, or souls, or asses, whatever you straight people do
A beef tasting is not what I needed while hungover
He showed up riding a bike blasting the ghostbusters theme song. His name was Lasercat. Im in love.
Lesson learned. Don't roleplay with a real knife.
i don't know man... i just want to listen to John Lennon every time i finish fucking her. is this love?
So....I just took a paddle fan on high speed to the side of the head while getting head...still finished the job, good thing I'm drunk and couldn't feel it.
He told me he wished he could shrink down to a small size so he could live inside my cleavage
Um..... I have taste. The only thing I am going to bedazzle is my vagina.
Hate my fucking roommates.... Seriously, who the FUCK peels potatoes in the bathroom sink?!
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