So I got my period. Finally. In related news, I reinstated my belief in God.
how drunk was i? i pretended i was getting a blowjob from a fuckin dolphin in front of my dad. thats how drunk i was.
That's why Kanye is a gay fish.
I'm gonna get drunk and through up on the first happy couple I see.
Long labias. Talking about. Too drunk to explain. Tomorrow.
My mom said that if she can come this weekend, she'll buy the weed.
after last night my drinking related hospital bracelet collection is up to 13
Home safe. Took me everything not to stop and pick up some random cat that looked like an ocelot tho.
her 18 year old son fed me pieces of a french roll like a pigeon, as I lay on the floor of the bathroom crying.
I'm just chillin on the bathroom floor
Haha oh no
The bathroom floor is like my second bedroom on the weekends
Dude, if that was the MLB player I think it was leaving your bedroom this morning please tell me you got his autograph. It could pay the rent for like six months.
I wanna get a tattoo next to my tattoo that says, my ex did this so don't fucking ask
look when god gives you a dick that good for his son's birthday you don't question it
NO BABIES. YOUR VAGINA WILL BLEED WITHIN A FORTNIGHT.
You have to commit to sexting. You can't just quit right after I send you pictures of my asshole.
Seriously, come on.
I feel like there's a picture of my ass on the internet right now.
I hate you.
Randomize
