i also saw a trio of peacocks walking along a sidewalk in hollywood today. i really hope im not tripping.
Haha its ok. When we got back you sat in the car and attempted to tell me in sign language you were blacked out lol
Any day you don't mysteriously wake up in the garbage is a good day.
Everytime the frat boy touches his bro's ass after making a cup take a drink
I don't think I'd trust a marching band with trampolines to not cause serious damage to themselves/ property.
they were having sex on the toilet apparently and everytime someone knocked they flushed. it was like an auditory scoreboard of sex duration.
Only thing I got out of his drunken Spanish is something that sounded like "pencil sharpener." Damn rosetta stone.
Zach is always passed out on the floor somewhere.face down in a puddle of his own absurdity
No really tho I'm wearing a chucky cheese shirt and yoga pants. If that doesn't scream no sex idk what does
Can we please get through at least one night out when you DON'T threaten to have sex with one of my parents?!?!
More importantly this is sex weather and i am striking out
A baby just tried to pull out his mom's huge tits at work today and nearly succeeded. I was silently cheering for the little guy.
An "unreasonable amount of ejaculate" isn't a reason to be angry at me.
Everything is covered in gelatin and pam cooking spray. Jesus be a shield.
What's the best way to tell a guy he can call me when his impending divorce is finalized?
Randomize
