Dude, I just saw a bird vs. squirrel fight. A car won.
This girl added me on fb and has all these pics of her kissing her little brother saying i will love you forever. I'm creeped out.
maybe it's her son
thats not any better.
it was like my fingers were behind enemy lines
Yes, I am watching The Hills Have Thighs. And yes it is a porno remake of The Hills Have Eyes. And, again, yes, lesbian sex in the desert. Get the sand out.
Julian told me all the fish in his pond died and he didn't know when or how. I didn't have the heart to tell him he drunkenly peed in the pond on Saturday as everyone cheered him on.
It was like you were trying to communicate only you were using every letter of the alphabet but in no order and in a different language
We wore fake mustaches and shirts that said team mustache ride to a party we weren't even invited to
I've slept in a different bed every day this week. Operation Ho Ho Ho is a success!
The school security guard knows my name.... I think I'm missing some memories...
He sat down, pointed at my Converse and said "I have the same shoes." I thought "I'm going to have sex with you by the end of the night."
There are both cum and chocolate stains on my sheets. Can't decide whether this is a new low or a new high.
He tried to get me to go back to his place on the condition that he has 6 cats. I was very tempted but I said no. Hoping to go see the cats tomorrow
I just want my kids to know I fucked some really hot dudes before their father.
You're going to scar your kids
The kitchen also doubles as a screaming room after midnight as long as you have something to muffle the sound
Did I fall last night?
I wouldn't call it falling as much as you tried to lay on the sidewalk and proceeded to hit it face first.
Randomize
