im pretty sure i just dented her unborn child.
ra ra ra ah ah
wtf?
sexting lady gaga style
you are the sluttiest virgin ive ever met
thanks it was an honor just to be nominated
I mean, I don't even call it a hangover anymore. It's just morning.
He bought me a pink rose and a Plan B. I really like this guy.
Don't ask me how or why, but I'm drunk with German diplomats. Come over. Now
Just took last nights make up off with a sock. That hungover.
Just smokin in the creek with some deer, they like the smoke, I know.
Hey texans ride hard. He should have known what he was in for when I asked to sit on his face. The broken nose was a BADGE he just earned.
This is a sacred holiday in the land of the free! I do what I want!
Sometimes you just have to have sex for a Netflix password.
I'm in the ER bruh, I went skinny dipping last night and a cat fish bit my dick.
I'm not a morning person, and, trust me, no matter how good your cock may be, it will not turn me into one.
How was I supposed to know the accent was fake before i slept with him
I gotta do like a month's worth of catch-up personal hygiene today in prep for Christmas so extended family doesn't ask if I'm depressed.
Randomize
