if he's not good at sex i should be allowed to have sex with someone who is. that's a totally legit statement i think
I closed that bar. Sang every Beatles song in the book. Made Somoan friends.
Just printed out my Plan B coupon at the library. Saving my own printer ink and paper as well as 10 dollars towards not being knocked up.
I woke up and we were making out. So the good news is that after two years off the market, I haven't lost a step. I'm picking up girls in my sleep now.
hey, sorry about all the butter. I thought it was gonna help.
got one for peeing in public....called the cop a donut dunking communist...should be a fun court appearance
you showed up at my door at 3am, handed me a bag of cold chicken nuggets and said "lead me to the non-irish Siobhans," do YOU think you were tripping?
Hahaha more like walk of pride. You entered the lions den last night.
It's entirely possible that I'm fucking yet another gay guy
What I'm doing now is like me taking a bagel, dropping it butter side down, leaving it for six years, picking it back up, and trying to fuck it
I'm killing it this week, I've peed my pants and put my vibrator into the washing machine.
There’s nothing that says motivation more than watching these little geniuses on Kids Baking Championship New Year’s Day. I’m ready to fuck shit up this year.
What?? I could've slept with an ordained minister!
I came twice and when I was done I petted his head and said "you did good kid you did good" and just laid back smiling. Tell me I'm not awesome.
I once left mine in my bra and I forgot and I didn't notice it was there until it vibrated.
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