I know...I feel like disliking her as a person on facebook
fuck. I just remembered I agreed to let you finger me last night for solely for "scientific purposes"
I think I actually have rug burn on my eye.
i just stole a 8 pack of olde english 40s and 2 roles of duct tape. we are going to make edward proud tonight.
People are stripping in McDonalds. Do I join?
YES.
They are the perfect team. One always has weed, the other always has cigarettes. They're like the Batman and Robin of drugs
I don't think you understand what laundry day means. I am wearing a swimsuit as underwear and my spanish club tshirt from junior high
If God invented something better than rough, drunken, lesbian sex he kept that shit to himself.
I just lectured my ex boyfriend on how to eat a girl out what has my life come to
He said it only counts if it ends up on the internet
Vodka, MiraLAX and Gatorade are perfect for the night before a colonoscopy
will you help me invent vagina-safe pop rocks?
The first thing he said was that my underwear smelled like Trix but then he looked up at me and whispered "Silly rabbit, vagina is for me."
His wife found the thong I “forgot” in his glovebox
The last time we went to a costume party, you walked around in a loincloth with a cross and said you were Jesus. I'm eager to see how much more offensive you can be.
Randomize
