Tell him to shut up cuz i said so. I lost my dollar shoe :(
Wanna demo a makeout? Check box yes or no. Or maybe. Okay bye.
The words "my birth control fell out" should never be spoken
why do you have a stuffed bear wearing a thong and a seatbelt in your backseat??
As per my father's affair, married men are no longer off limits.
just got double teamed by two guys I will be on beach patrol with this summer. six months until the season starts and I'm already 'that girl.'
I need to find more Xanax, my Grandpa doesent leave for another week and he's made it a mission to get me to come out of the closet as a xmas gift to my parents.
Yeah... I still gave her a hug because I felt really bad though. I mentioned that my boyfriends grandma just died too, just to reinforce that I'm straight afterwards.
if memory serves, the guy you were hooking up with said he was a slutty skittle.
Come in your red robin gear. If you smell like French fries we can make love.
So Bodhi just sent me a pic of someone's balls with a message that says "I hope you all have a ballin' night." I don't even know what level of friendship to call this anymore.
Oh my god.
The ballsiest level.
Look, the coffee machine died a noble death. It was the way it would have wanted to go. It was a mercy exploding, really.
The important thing is that she is gone, presumably back to the depths of hell from whence she came.
Dude, who WASN'T thinking of motorboating her?
Tbh.. I hope he still watches our sex tapes so he can be reminded of what he's missing out
Randomize
