Just looked in the bathroom mirror before getting to this exam to see If I look as bad as I feel & the answer is no. I look amazing, even in yesterday's clothes
did you wind up at some random place? and do you remember face planting into the fireplace?
Gay walks of shame are so much more Amy Winehouse than straight girls
It was fun until I shot a pea out of my nose while throwing up. Left over tuna casarole at 3Am was a terrible choice.
I had a pretty decent weekend -- aside from dropping the baby on her head. That.. That I feel bad about.
In the middle of switching positions, we shared a line of coke. It's was like a modern-day 'Lady and the Tramp.'
I don't know if you remember, but I was only wearing an afghan.
Yes and yes. Got taken to a Florida strip club. I desperately want to flood my eyes and ears with hand sanitizer right now.
It's a sad statement on my day when the high point was getting a pap test.
I love 3rd shift and working at a hotel I just had a late night booty call while I was getting paid..could life get any better??
She's running around the streets punching people and narrating. I don't know whether to laugh or stop her
I DID NOT GO INTO HOURS OF STRENUOUS LABOR FOR YOU TO LOOK LIKE A DOMINATRIX BARMAID ON A WEEKDAY. AT LEAST SAVE IT FOR THE WEEKEND GDI.
Let's take a shot for every time we've said "I don't want to get that drunk tonight"
Well I've decided to refuse to conform to society and be naked the rest of the day.
Which one have i been cheating ON and which one have i been cheating WITH if i met them the same night & have been dividing time equally?
Randomize
