are you going to last longer than 15 seconds
nope
grab my backpack.....its in the fridge
Some chick just tried to plug her vodka into the wall.
I opened my eyes this morning, looked at the sunlight and made this hangover my bitch.
Now that weed is legalized There needs to be reusable bags for people to pick up with. All this plastic is so bad for the environment and a waste
this is the first time in over a year I had a pregnancy scare and actually would have known who the father was. I guess this is what adulthood feels like.
I discovered a new stretch mark. DONE. LITERALLY DONE.
I'm still laying in bed cuz I don't feel like adulting yet
I said he looked like a lumberjack and that's when he came. I guess he liked the beard compliment?
"Let's do body shots off the freshmen" is officially the worst thing I've ever said.
but real talk, he made 1 phone call last night and had someone bring us tacos at 3am so idk I might be inlove
Well I'm over here squandering a fabulous hair day and radiant complexion
Thought the acid was fake. Then my reflection didn't move when I did in the bathroom.
2 weeks into this dating someone with money thing and I already don't know if I can go back to the being poor life
Oh man I missed being single! Two different guys just sent me dick pics during my kid’s little league game.
Randomize
