his pick up line was "wanna get a pizza and fuck?"
did it work
that's not the point...
Please don't die.. At a gay bar... On a Wednesday. Obituaries are not allowed to be that entertaining.
I don't want to smoke with her when she's on adderall. She carved her pumpkin for four hours & didn't say a word.
as she was beating the hell out of his ex, she screamed prison rules, and smashed her head with a beer bottle. I'm oddly afraid yet so attracted to her now.
Our halfway to Halloween party needs to never happen again. There were waaayy too many wasted cartoon characters passed out in my living room this morning...
If you would give me the chance we might have the two separate pieces of the greatest fuck puzzle ever.
My head. My head is the problem. Also alcoholism.
I feel miserable and there's nutella all over my phone
I'm allowing myself one mistake a year. He gets to be 2012.
you're right. i am beautiful. like a May day. frolicking in a meadow of wildflowers. platinum in one hand. pipe in the other. that kind of beautiful.
Sometimes I think about the fact that I lost my virginity while watching anime and I wonder what that says about me
Sitting in my car feasting on the spoils of Taco Bell as Donna Lewis croons "I love you, always forever." A more perfect moment will never exist.
At dinner her sister yelled "he fucked me AND mom!! Up your standards hoe!!" Safe to say I ruined that family
I've got five complains from the landlord about she being too loud during sex in two weeks I'm marrying her
If we were teenagers we would intentionally be trying to burn down this historic landmark
Randomize
