I just hope my dad was drunk enough to not remember the whole convo we had about anal.
god damn woman. you are like the herpes of drunk texting. you never go away.
best thing about halloween? there are pumpkins to puke in EVERYWHERE!
you left a note on your car that said " please dont tow, im to drunk to drive. safety first!"
he's from indiana, of course he's clueless about "g-spots"
no normal human would even think about making waldo slutty but you
not sure how we got back down, broken rib says we didn't use stairs
he laminated a picture of his dick.
You're a disgrace to the female race and the love triangle and halloween.
I will seriously deflate and melt into the floor into a puddle of devestation, shame and vodka.
Being with her was like shitty sexual fear factor big ass sausage nipples over sized outty belly button i was scared and drunk tell know one
Have you ever just sat there and thought about past penises?
you are the root of all my greats nights and my worsts decisions
burned my penis with a sauteed onion again.
you had her IN YOUR BED NO PANTS AND YOU GAVE HER THW BOOT?!?!?!
Stage five clinger bro. had to go.
Randomize
