the worst part of it wasnt him peeing on the xbox. it was when he showed me his penis and made a kissy face at me. THAT was painful.
I told him I wanted to have sex to "halleluiah", he suggested the poke-rap.
Just watched a guy puke off his bike. Beyond impressed. He didn't even swerve
Why does every bad decision I make wind up having 1000 likes on YouTube?
Just set up my first threesome: a rapper and a Marine. Pretty sure at least 80% of girls in America hate me right now.
he came to me for relationship advice and we ended up fucking in my backseat
I am the worst person to have nipple rings I'm hanging ornaments off of then and sending everyone a tits the season to be jolly
Did my roommate wake up in your girlfriend's apartment in drag again?
Eating an avocado like an apple while doing shots of fireball and watching finding nemo. I need to get my shit together.
You know you've been having sex for 9 months when you do Rock Paper Scissors for who has to go on top
well, you know. whores of a feather.
What the fuck were you guys talking about?
Lube wrestling.
Oh, makes sense.
I flashed my boobs, shit my pants, and kissed the wrong twin. I'm on a roll you don't want in on.
if they didn't want us to do blow at uni, why would they make textbooks so smooth?
I woke up naked in a tent. I was more upset that the air mattress had deflated.
Randomize
