These people need to leave so I can have rum and Doritos at work like every other American.
There is NOTHING better than watching a child being chased by an ostrich.
im almost positive that in mid thrust she told me she was pro choice
Change of plans. Theres a bouncy castle setup in my apartment complex.
When you get up and look at yourself in the mirror, don't be alarmed. The doctor assured us last night that it looked way worse than it actually was and there won't be a scar when the stitches come out
Why is there a video on my phone of us trying to snort a line of Reeces Pieces with you chanting "This is how fat girls party"?
Yea we had fun. Lost my wallet some girl has it. Sarah fell asleep in a cab and ended up at some wawa. It was cray. She's home now
A surplus of mistakes were made and I don't know what 89% of them were.
I tried to put my heels in the coat check
It's times when I'm naked but also want to be platonically social that I miss you the most.
I have "if found please return to" written in sharpie on my arm, my uterus is rejecting everything, and I have hickies. I must actually be an 18 year old piece of shit girl instead of a responsible 23 year old
But what we lack in money, we make up for in dry humor and drugs
Of course his mom thinks you're nice, she doesn't know you have sex for cheeseburgers
One time!! I like sex and food....
He is saved in her phone as Sir. Mindfuck <3/ vag cleaner of course I need to meet him.
I can handle him. I'm made of spite and hot wings.
Randomize
