How drunk are you??
I'm flawless.
We've finally become those guys who you'd see in middle school when you went to the park who are just stoned out of their minds sitting on the swings.
Neighbors just bought a new bong. Got high with them and we decided to name it "Gary colemans sweet sugarlumps" these guys are hilarious
I don't care if the man pisses on teenage girls, he's enchanting.
She was mid-sentence and then BOOM the hammock broke off the tree. I about pissed myself. Hot Sprite and Vodka make the world go round.
I'm about to initiate a game of drunk UNO.
Drunk UNO has officially been banned from now until forever.
Don't worry, I'm preparing for tonight by lining my purse with a garbage bag.
my neighbors having band practice on sunday morning is a message from the universe that I should stop drinking
I vaguely remember a drunken mid sex pinky promise to not let it get weird.
And you were like wow I love water shots they taste so good
A picture of a damn cupcake brought back 3 fuckboys
It's one of those "I can't stand you but we're stuck in the same hotel room tonight so let's fuck until one of us passes out" kind of nights.
With my son watching me, I pulled down my pants and shit in her trash can.
I came so hard my ears popped.
its 8 and I'm HUNGOVER!! how is that possible??
Randomize
