I fear hooking up with people who have white pillowcases because my guyliner always smears on it and i either have to A. sneak out in the night or B. wash it and see them again
he looks like a really good dad on facebook
my three year anniversary of no dick sucking is coming up. you can throw me a party with a penis cake.
about to play the homeward bound drinking game. alone. what are you doing tonight?
So... 5th graders can't whisper for shit, but apparently I have an awesome rack.
Haha. Niice.
Yeah, I didn't know whether to be shocked or flattered.
both.
that's the nicest way anyone's ever asked me to send them naked pics before...
I just saw a van full of amish parents and their kids. Those cheating mother fuckers!
Did i actually sleep there? Or did i just get sand everywhere?
I don't even know where to begin....there's queso sauce and public hair stuck to everything
I got back at him the only way I knew how, by hooking up with the guy he hates from their rival fraternity.
Nothing like the It's a Small World ride at Disneyland to remind you to take your birth control. I took it on the boat yesterday
When he saw my tits he said "wow you should be proud.
I'm dangerously close to tossing this whole "morals" bullshit and swan-diving into the fuckboy lifestyle.
She is either doing really drawn out crunches or trying to sniff her boobs...She's lying on her back with her hand behind her head, forcing her head into the cleavage that's ok to expose and then moves her head back and then does it again.
Your parents are gone and we haven't fucked in their bed... why?
Randomize