she was so not down for the gang bang
I think the phrase "bag of smashed assholes" describes it best
It says i should accept HIV aids as my friend on facebook.We have 12 friends in common. I need new friends.
You answered the door when the cops arrived with a beer in one hand and a pillowcase over your head yelling "GAGA, OOH LA LA!"
what part of "i slept with our hot teacher" are you not excited about?!
the part where you beat me to him
fair enough.
a kid who worked there came up to me and let me know you were sitting in the bathroom sink. he said it was fine, so i just kept checking on you.
So I was about the only one NOT pregaming or stoned at my aunt's funeral... Maybe thats why I'm the black sheep.
Do you remember some guy walking around the club saying "boner patrol" and smacking people in the dick?
Yeah, that was you
Although I feel like awkward kinda describes your entire sexual history...
Speaking of mom and dad and Halloween... Mom bought a size small slutty nurse outfit last night. So yeah, they're getting hammered
Serio, who the fuck falls down coming offstage wearing nothing but pasties, a g-string, and a fake moustache, and now suddenly needs a tetanus shot. Me. That's who.
I mean in all honesty I would let James Franco shit on my chest. End of story
my only goal for the semester is never go to my wednesday class sober
I can insert a female catheter, but I cannot grill a cheese.
She is either doing really drawn out crunches or trying to sniff her boobs...She's lying on her back with her hand behind her head, forcing her head into the cleavage that's ok to expose and then moves her head back and then does it again.
Randomize
