ok 1 i realized people actually live in central wisconsin and 2 culvers could be a good place to pick up chicks today
just puked in a purse in the store. some girl asked if i was gonna buy it now and i laughed and asked her why id want a bag some dude just puked in. her face looked like she saw the devil.
hung over. covered in somebodies makeup. and ready to drink.
I believe I convinced two girls to makeout for freedom last night Hahaha
You called me 32 times last night just to tell me you felt a heartbeat in your vagina?
i've really grown. sober me left an alarm for me every 10 minutes that said NO FAT CHICKS!
dude. im stealing that.
Is it possibile to sprain your taint?
She was that bad?
How do you leave a condom wrapper under my mom's pillow...
This may not be the best moment to laugh, but I am.
I like to feed my guinea pigs before I get stoned. In case they get contact high and get the munchies. It's only polite.
YES please come visit. Lets go get belligerent. I won't even pepperspray you
I woke up this morning with my hand on his dick. That sneaky bastard.
WHAT KIND OF DEALER ONLY WORKS FRI-SUN???
Ours, apparently.
My disney ticket is covered in lube, do you think they will accept it?
Dude, you ever snap awake on the toilet at work with that panicked, "How long have I been here?!" feeling??
i cant hook up i'm covered in egg rolls
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