i think the sales of Rosetta Stone are directly related to the size of that woman's tit's
Just woke up. First thing I see: Little brother eating last night's jello shots thinking they're reg jello.
She told me I reminded her of the fair. And she wanted to deep fry my dick and eat it.
I didn't mind getting the stomach flu from him. we had great sex AND I'm seven pounds lighter
You are the patron saint of my drinking problem.
You were peeing on yourself thinking it was the sprinkler in your yard
My dad told me my only assignment from now til graduation is to not die. it's a legit concern for him.
dude, i turned on the light and asked if they were ok and they STILL didn't stop. Most determined sex EVER.
Seriously babe, why do I keep waking up with bruises on my nipples? WHAT ARE YOU DOING TO ME IN MY SLEEP?
Actually, scratch that, I'm not sure I want to know.
She posted a pic of her bf on ig wishing him a happy bday at midnight. She then proceeded to have sex with me. Who is the bday boy again?
So, I without a doubt haven't used the bag I'm now carrying since we were dating. Just had to discreetly throw out an unopened magnum in a bus station.
You can't honestly expect me to maintain an erection when you have the Glen Beck show on
His eyefucking isn't even normal eyefucking; it's eye anal.
She did what?
Who. The correct term is she did who.
Did you see him? The correct term is definitely what.
Lol, perhaps. But the drinks are so cheap, the music is better, and the bartenders and bouncers all know my name. I can't abandon it, even if it is a gay bar, its still my Nirvana.
Randomize
