She has a t-rex face on a stuart little body.
wtf someone played my fucking brickbreaker games and lost i had ten fucking lives. ughhh
maybe you did when you were drunk
no way, i wasn't THAT drunk.
Have you come up with a team name for the beer pong tournament on Saturday?
We can be the stepdads. If anyone asks why say because we beat you and you hate us.
i saw like six of her guido cousins in the jersey shore trailer alone. her family is having a dinner party for the premiere tonight.
No. Please No. At first it was cool when you started bring an extra girl home for me but after 2 cycles of clap medicine I'm putting an end to it.
Why doesn't he get that I would rather give him blow jobs than be in a relationship?
that wasn't rum that I poured down your throat while you were sleeping
he also bled all over my floor. unrelated to cats but true nonetheless.
He's not actually Jewish. Turns out he just wears the yarmulke to cover his bald spot.
Are we in any of the areas with tornados?
Dude, i don't even have pants on yet, it's too early to think about tornadoes.
Buying her a drink is like giving a seagull a French fry, all you're gonna do is get annoyed and shit on
Ok so last thing I remember was hugging a cop while vomiting
I got slapped by a drag queen and bitten on the arm by either a random girl or a weird mouth shaped dog. Tough to tell without seeing the teeth
You have cats and a ten year IUD. Embrace it.
The prescription the hospital gave me for pain and nausea doubles for my hangovers... Maybe I'll hit up the ER more often
Randomize
