is it cool if i come over and use your computer?
what happened to yours?
i got a little to drunk last night and threw up on it...then i tried to wash it off under the sink.
She walked in, looked at the bed, sniffed, sighed, and went to grab her cleaning supplies. I'd say she knows.
woke up on the kitchen floor in the recovery position. at least drunk me remembered sober me's emt training
I had fun this weekend too. According to Web MD, my symptoms say I had a miscarriage.
new plan: i think the keg will fit in my purse.
The cop was more concerned with the fact I had cowboy boots on with shorts than the fact we were under age
its friday night, im aone in my apartment and eating 2 year expired canned fruit, naked. i'm not single or anything..
I'm not trying to be dramatic but if someone makes you choose between getting a Brazilian or dying. For the sake of your sanity just fucking die
I need a new pic for your contact id. Because your boobs popping up when I'm having dinner with my grandma or, ya know, when kids have my phone isn't so good.
Went home with a guy last night with Taco Bell sauce in my hair and on my pants
So I got cockblocked by our relationship status last night
Atleast we had sex on the couch before your ex took it from you
I lost my virginity to Adventure Time. DO YOU NOT UNDERSTAND THE SIGNIFICANCE?!
Last night you were throwing up in my toilet singing "all by myself."
I feel like you should store your weed in something that suits your personality. For example mines in a hollowed out disney princess book.
Randomize
