Were we dating when my roommates and I had the 'everyone gets laid' part?
Ya
I used to kick so much ass
His pick-up line from last night: "I bet you cant climb these stairs right now." Needless to say.. it worked.
I was in the bathroom throwing up...when I walked out he was sitting there watching porn and jacking off. He said, "Sounded like you were gonna be in there for a while."
Found a phone last night. Hope "daddy" gets picture messages
you wouldnt answer to anything but devil's advocate all night.
well you haven't lived until you've been 86'ed from a family restaraunt
I woke up and we were making out. So the good news is that after two years off the market, I haven't lost a step. I'm picking up girls in my sleep now.
I never kept track of who else he slept with. You think I have the time or the energy to keep track of every dick in my life?
Trust me. I don't get home before 5am. I know what Immmm doing. BTW bail money is in my closet. PEACE
They need to leave so I can start drinking shamefully.
Does it count as working out if stops are taken every half hour to smoke a blunt?
My life is literally "I'm too horny you can't leave" or "let's have pie" there's like no inbetween
My mom just asked if I wanted a mimosa when I got out of the bath.
I think everything's gonna be okay.
He asked me how many starwars references he could make before i no longer find him attractive.
I love you so much and not just because your dick is perfect
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