i'm going to be honest, my vagina smells.
Note to self: Not getting laid all weekend makes girls in mondays classes racks seem enormously bigger.
Lesson Learned this Week... If it seems too good to be true he is probably just trying to get you pregnant.
Dude, didnt you only know that guy for a month and he is demanding offspring?
Apparently, at this age my womb is an early conversation
My male hookup buddy is gonna meet my female hookup buddy, let the awkward hookup games begin!
We found a stripper pole in your closet. It seemed like a good idea. Alex will fix the hole in your wall. Sorry.
he will always be the guy i fucked in the hallway.
I only remembered where urgent care was because it's across the street from my favorite bar
well, the drug dealer I've been fucking the past 5 months gave me a chilis gift card for Christmas, so things are looking up.
We fucked so hard that when I orgasmed I tore his towel rack off the wall. He was more impressed than mad.
My mom is currently out with her lesbian friends and I'm home alone drunk listening to the Les Miserables soundtrack. WHY DO I FEEL THE NEED TO COMPETE WITH HER?
Should I take a fireball shot or brush my teeth?
The highlight of the night was definitely when you starting telling ppl you could shapeshift and "proved" that by stripping.
This is a long quiet interstate without somebody to sext.
The last thing I remember was them slipping shots into my beer bong, and me being happy about it
You should not be involved with someone who smells like that. Because that smell seriously does not go away. Even if you can't actually smell it at any given point, it will still haunt you
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