guys i just found a dildo in the laundry room and its purple
whats a dildo? isnt that like a fancy piece of bread?
just saw a man remove a wedgie from his lady's ass. who says chivalry is dead.
we live in such a classy society.
Clearly I made an impression.
Or at least your vagina did.
So my retainer doesn't fit, so i'm getting drunk so i can put it back in. Alone.
You would...
Please tell me what happened last night... specifically who told me it was a good idea to pee in my shoe.
I woke up next to her will a oven mit taped to my cock. Dear god, I might have tried to use it as a condom.
Have u seen my thong? Last time i saw it was drenched in vodka and on his brothers broken lamp.
Nah but tell him his boxers made it to the basement
Operation: sleep in every bed at the boys' house is nearing completion. Now at 5/9. I AM GOLDILOCKS AND NO ONE CAN STOP ME
So I thought the party was crazy before his pinky came off...
Is "I want you to destroy my insides" too forward?
you know it's been too long when the heat of a pizza box on your lap turns you on.
I was weirded out when the chunky goth girl and her boyfriend both started eyeing me and wanted to by me a drink.
Xanax and cookies, it's good to be home
I impressed him by taking off my panties without removing my pants.
She is getting high and watching the Hobbit. I want her life.
So she is basically watching her own life story: short people traveling to strange places.
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