I'm looking at pot farms on google earth. Google should be proud I found a real purpose for it to serve.
It wasn't until i was on my knees with three dicks in my face that i thought it might be a bad idea
She bought a fucking hedgehog. And that's just the tip of the crazy iceberg.
Man the liquor store just wrong numbered me, its a sign even god wants me to drink
It's 4PM and I'm finally awake.. I'm covered in dog fur and shame. I'd say it counts as a good night.
He compared my vagina to the first time he tried cocaine
Hey, who is this? Sorry, you're in my phone as "you better remember".
I knew it would get worse when I said I think your roommate is watching and he looked over at him and said ... So?
my liver is dry heaving
Double dirt bag award winner tonight. He picked me up in his wife's car.
Sooooooo this guy just asked me if I'd be interested in a threesome... I'm considering bc I would get to hang out with his dog afterwards.
For someone who wanted a break I'm getting way to much dick
I'm torn between regretting everything and regretting nothing.
Why were you doing tequila shots out of Boston Pizza dip containers?
Fuck this virus. We’re finally back on campus but the bars suck parties are banned sports are canceled we eat in our rooms and can’t fucking hangout with anyone. I’m tired of virtual classes and involuntary celibacy
OMG IKR! It’s not college unless we’re puking in a toilet wondering if we’re pregnant or just hungover!
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