i hope your v-card owns a pair of floaties
she cant drink. allergic to alcohol.
ewwww. she might as well have a dick.
I'm afraid that if I tell my sister I think Zachary Quinto is gay I'll have to put her on suicide watch for the next week or so
he told me my hair look so beautiful and as he was stroking it his fingers got caught in my BUMPIT. How are you supposed to explain that one?
We got so high yesterday we tried watching soccer
I might scale it back and go as an investment banker. Which is the exact same costume as James Bond on LSD. I just introduce myself differently.
I would makeout with my roommate, but im not drunk enough and she doesnt like bacon fat
that freshman chick we always see on the weekends walked into art class wearing a jaegermeister shirt and holding a monster, which she proceeded to shotgun with a pair of scissors. It sickens me to know I will never achieve her level
Its everclear night, yall need carbs in your body!
all i remember was her shitting herself and asking me to call her parents.....i so didn't. when i woke up she was gone and left a note saying "we will be lovers forever"
I smoked that joint really fast and now I'm so high I'm crawling around on all 4 giving my dogs piggie back rides pretending its the macy day parade for dogs and I'm their giant human float.
I told him finishing at the same time would be a long-term project. Like flipping a house. A sexual house.
Nothing to be ashamed of. I bet Oprah has sharted.
Please god tell me you aren't pregaming your date alone.
Come home... I’m drinking and playing with knives
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