I just passed one of the bars and saw my mom kissing another woman. This can't be good....right?
Knowing your life, probably not.
would you consider him our boss?
technically yes
then technically i slept with our boss
Penelope Cruz needs to learn American words.
Just registered some guy for opium withdrawals. WTF opium withdrawals, who does opium anymore.
4 am. She strained the mac and cheese onto her legs. She has no skin.
He just found another high guy at wal-mart. There now friends. His friend is eating a cupcake
Found him fucking some random drunk chick in the bathrrom at the blue lep with a beer in each hand. had to give him props.
I'm at the point in my life where I'm trying to get guys I've fucked to give a ride to guys I'm going to fuck.
Note for the future: whiskey syrup is AMAZING on 3am pancakes.
Fuck I forgot the furry convention was this weekend and now I'm downtown. Way too high for this shit.
Do you sleep with the same women I've already slept with on purpose?
Man, it's really obvious that I was either handcuffed or tied up last night. Either way, not something you'd want coworkers knowing.
Yeah I passed out. The last thing I remember is the lady telling me I couldn't play the clarinet with my nose.
Hypothetically speaking of course, is it bad if a cat eats lube?
I don't see why I have to pay for it.
your head went through the window, you're pretty much obligated to pay for it.
Randomize
