Did you hit it?
Turns out she was a he. but to answer your question, yes.
seriously this is one of those moments where im glad i dont really talk to or know the people i sleep with
Well said.
she was so wasted that she tried to tuck me in and read the jokes on the taco bell sauce as a bed time story
I don't give a shit about soccer but I'm really excited about drinking at 7 in the morning
It'd be like medium rare by now.
I love how we're talking about your vagina like it's a piece of meat.
on toilet. in drag. drinking coffee vodka. I regret nothing.
my neighbors garage sale is really cutting into the time of day when i can smoke weed on my deck.
Just proof I should've brought the airhorn with me to class.
I feel the need to point out that one of the items on my to-do list for the day is "don't throw up" I have no concept of normal
She fuckin peed on me
Stay golden ponyboy
Please take a moment of silence for the fact that I still have all 10 fingers
Either I just got hit on by a 10 year old.girl dressed like a boy or I just got hit on by a midget lesbian. Either way I feel uncomfortable
I LEAVE YOU TWO ALONE FOR 45 MINUTES AND ALL MY WHIPPED CREAM AND CONDOMS ARE GONE
Things I want for my birthday 1. a Chipotle grade tortilla steamer 2. a new liver
You said this was your mistake shot and then vomited on the tv. Never forget.
Randomize
