i just saw a foot job.
porn is incredible...
Just saw a man in a wheel chair using his feet to push himself backwards through a crosswalk... good morning Atlanta
So my teacher figured out I made a drinking game out of her lecture. Once my drink was gone she let us out. Happy St. Patricks day class. Your welcome
It's not kidnapping if it's romantic
It's my fault there's ramen coiled around his penis.
i like him when i'm sober AND when i'm drunk.i've been searching for this my whole life
He had a seizure when i was giving him head. for a second i was thinking i was doing a spectacular job
I love how our sober spotter means you only have to stay sober enough to type your pin in an ATM
If I die I have 2 requests one a viking funeral prye and 2 I want you to take over my facebook and haunt the fuck out of everyone
I think I'm coming down now. I almost started crying because I lost a piece of paper.
I won't be able to make it. Too hung over. Can't hold down fluids. I'm in the bathtub trying to hydrate my body through osmosis. And yes, Tequila Tuesday is totally still on for tonight.
I've woke up in his bed 4 out of the past 6 mornings. I feel like this might be the time to learn more about him then his first name and what kind of beer he drinks.
Nope if you can't be there for me emotionally, then my vagina can't be there for you physically. That's my rule.
Does anyone remember last night? Because I still don't know why I now own a goldfish and a ceiling fan made of pizza?
I find nice boys who are in extremely long term relationships with nice girls, wait for them to break up, and sneak in for the rebound fucking.
You are like a terrifying jaguar of sex. Predatory.
Randomize
