what if the hokey pokey really is what its all about?
I'm a terrible person. There are two guys speaking sign language on the metro platform and at first I thought they were drunk and doing a silly dance.
birth control and beer are two of the most beautiful creations ever invented.
I just got a msg from someone saved in my phone as "gouiys stAndingg nezxt me not oz". Omh my life.
I think I wrote "thanks for the free alcohol!!!" in their wedding guest book and I'm almost positive I signed my name
Hey, next time you have sex, flick his balls, and tell him "thats for getting spit in jennifer's eye and laughing about it."
She looked at my cock with a kind of resigned disappointment.
Ong my arms are moving wo my consent
I may have made out with a tranny last night, which, if I don't get fired for everything else that happened, really makes last night epic.
He's like a hurricane
a drunk, sexist, hurricane
Not sure but if it exists I will find it and I will fill my face with it
I almost had a threesome in a giant beanbag chair. I love college.
Oh yeah, nothing says welcome home like walking in on your parents having sex on your bed while the dog is watching, they told me to wait until they were done...
I am putting clothes on to go find a brownie
In my experiences, brownies are better naked.
I admire the fact that you replicated my apartment on the roof but I would appreciate it more if you would move all my stuff off the roof and back into my apartment.
Randomize
