508, what difference does it make? You were alone, anyway.
hahahahahahhahahahaha. 26, Dominican, has a funny accent, thinks I'm hot. Tots boning.
It's always a relief to be able to look at some one, and remind yourself that there IS some one who gets laid less then yourself.
so I woke up this morning and on their fridge, the first item on the shopping list was my virginity.
How the fuck did I get small bruises all over my body?
Well you were laying on the couch naked after the girls left, staring into space, and I went over to the pool table and threw every ball as hard as I could at you from point blank range . You didn't flinch, blink, or scream for any of them. next time maybe you won't fuck my girl while I'm taking a shit
Never again will we have slut saturday. Never.
From the prices on this menu it looks like I have no choice. I have to blow him.
Of dear god, I've been waiting to have rug burn like this since I got bored of my vibrator 2 months ago
They had their heads out of the car singing the wrong words to the national anthem as we drove through traffic of people leaving the fireworks. AMURICA
Just saw a woman in bootie shorts and a winter coat at the library. God. Bless. Prostitutes.
He says I vaguely mumbled happy New year, kissed him, threw up and then went back to sleep.
Have I showed you the picture of my vagina with a little bang flag coming out of it?
I hate him but I love him for what he does which is me
I just threw up in the bushes and my gardener started clapping...
Sorry I can't pick up... thought process is fine but too stoned to form words.
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