I went out, and slept with my sunglasses on
im at the bar and i misjudged a fart...go home or ride the night out?Never mind, the bouncer made the decision for me...be home soon
i know he has to tuck it when he gets excited in public and all, but now he is just starting to show off.
I love reading their "i love you more" , "no i love you more" war on facebook today knowing that he hooked up with me last night. I bet i know who wins that one.
I don't remember her name, all I remember is trying to suck the wedding ring off her finger.
I have fifteen cents in cash and 80 cents in the bank. BUT I have weed.
He told me he felt like he shoud say thank you and as a prize i could keep anything from his room that i wanted.
I actually kinda like her but everyone else hates her, so consider it a third party grudgefuck.
i don't know what body building stuff he's on, but his cum is basically a 5 hour energy shot.
My Sundays are fucking awful. Can't get a blow job.....can't get a win.
meanwhile at my house I found 2 bud heavys in the back of my book shelf crammed between a Franklin book and goodnight moon
i asked my neighbor to open a bottle of vodka once and then we slept together
If more people understood that brunch is at 3pm the world would be a better place because you don't have to wake up early. Breakfast food is important
You know you're out of shape when you're sore after masturbating.
Dude. I just got a visual of u climbing over a bathroom stall to save my life.
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